I live in a suburb of Phoenix. The Phoenix metro area is quite large geographically. It can take an hour to drive from one side of the metropolis to the other. I happen to live on one side. It's an area that's more conservative and appeals to families. Therefore, a lot of the single gay men live farther away - in more urban and trendy areas.
So, from time to time, I'll have a discussion with a nice gentleman online. Once we mutually decide that it would be nice to meet - they give me their address. Then the difficult part comes. I say "okay, give me 45 minutes to get there."
"What? Can you get here sooner? That's too late."
I want to reply with "not unless you can teleport me over there." I mean really. They know where I live. It's in my profile. Usually they make some comment about me living out in the middle of nowhere (it's not - really). Then they expect me to be able to drive 39 miles in city traffic in 10 minutes. Believe it or not - it can actually be done in 45 minutes - we have nice highways in Phoenix. But they're not magic. And we don't have an inner city bullet train.
Then the dreaded response comes: "well - maybe some other time." We all know how that goes.
I'd love to move to a more gay friendly area, but unfortunately my job is here. And so is my life. My daughter is very happy with her school, and I don't want to disrupt her any more than necessary. So a move to downtown Phoenix is unlikely.
I guess I'm just going to have to live with the impatient men of Phoenix. At least until Mr. Right appears. Now where the hell is he?
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| The Phoenix Metro Area - 16,573 square miles/37,744 km² (according to Wikipedia) |
Phoenix is very spread out, which is like LA, San Diego, Riverside, San Bernardino, and many of the metropolitan areas of California. It is a 20-30 minute/mile trip in many cases at least or more. Some have very unreasonable expectations.
ReplyDeleteYou guys do have nice highways in Phoenix. Although did they ever get rid of those awful freeway cameras that caught you when you were doing a hair over 65? I want to visit Phoenix again soon. It is a nice weekend getaway.
@Mike: The speed cams are gone. :) If you're coming to PHX - wait until October. It's a little warm right now.
ReplyDeleteLooking for the right person can be a daunting job. And I do think that we often get caught up in the visual, the age, etc, and ignore what could be a really good emotional match. Yes, i know if one finds them physically repugnant, no perfect mental match can leap over that chasm.
ReplyDeleteCould you be looking for Mr. Right in all the wrong places? It seems that most of the guys on those sites are really only in it for the physical, not so much emotional. I think you need to start hitting up your gay friends for blind dates with guys who they think you might mesh well with. Join a gay group that does good works, they might be a better match, than a guy with a hot body who is only looking for the next hook-up.
Like the conventional wisdom says, "if you dont want a bar fly for a mate, dont shop in the bars". There has to be a way to winnow out the hook-ups and find the "i want to settle down" guys. Men who understand that your daughter is a very important part of your life.
Your a smart guy, get creative in where you shop for Mr. Right.
it is true when people say we live in a word where everyone wants everything instantly.. can't even wait 45 mins??
ReplyDeletei live a good half an hour away from my boyfriend and it all works fine.
and this mr. right you seek, sometimes it's not about how much effort you put into looking, sometimes it's just the right time right place moment :)